Happy Monday people!
I don't know about everyone else but today I woke up sore from sitting on my ass all evening drooling over the beautiful celebrities at the Golden Globes last night. For the most part all the men and women looked gorgeous...except for Brad and Angelina, he looks like he hasn't showered or brushed his hair since last year and Angie looks like she hasn't eaten since last year--come on "power couple", get it together!! But let me just say that George Clooney looked amaze-balls.
Speaking of getting it together, sometimes I'm in a state of shock when I notice people's appearance as they walk around this city...or really anywhere in public. At least 2 or 3 people on my bus every morning look like they slept in their clothes and have just barely enough time to scrape the eye boogers away before their designated stop. I mean at least order yourself some pajama jeans to look half decent if this is such a challenge for you. Additionally, there is a woman on my bus who has the BIGGEST MOLE right on the corner of her upper lip. Its about the size of a blueberry-- ok I know you thinking, well blueberries arent that big, but when you have one permanently stuck to your face it's a different story. I cannot stop staring at it when I see her, it's like I have to make sure it won't explode and eat her face.
Apparently I am not alone in my discoveries as one of the articles on CNN.com today was "The Co-Worker Makeover" and how to approach someone in the workplace that either 1)smells like BO 2) overdoes the cologne/perfume to the point of making others ill 3) dresses like a ho or jigalo... or just really grubby. And the answer to these issues are basically you shouldn't say anything unless you're really close with them and can say it without being offensive or hurtful. Regardless the outcome will not be good...they'll be offended and hurt.
Not surprisingly I've been on dates where the guys showed up in less than acceptable form. I mean, what ever happened to "put your best foot forward" or "dress for the job you want" or "don't look like a disgusting slob on your date"?
Well ladies and gents, these guys didn't get the memo, read it and weep:
Blistex is only $1.99 I swear:
Tell me this- how does one not know when their lips are chapped so badly that they are CRACKING and BLEEDING? Do you really think if you show up to a date with cracked lips w dried blood I'm gonna be "feeling it"???? Oy, I think I applied my own chapstick constantly throughout the whole date. Poor guy. He was really nice and smart...I just couldn't get past those lips. And he smelled like moth balls, whats up w that?
I don't want no scrub:
Seemingly normal guy with some potential, we email a few times and become fb friends.
[*Note, almost all posted photos are of his dog. At first this seems cute, then excessive and then weird. Does he have a dog fetish? Does he have friends or just this dog?]
Date rolls around, he wants to "play it by ear" but does finally agree to a time. He gets 'tied up' and is 2 HOURS late to show up- some excuse about running errands and needing time to shower/get ready and drive into the city.
I meet him outside my building, SHOWERED? that would not exactly describe his condition. More like SCRUBBY [Enter Destiny's Child song]. He is wearing baggy jeans that look like they've been worn for 2 years without removal, and a brown hooded sweatshirt and vans.
Due to his "playing by ear" plan he's like "ummm so what do you want to do"?
Me, being the saavy city goer, suggest a stroll to the park
Him: "Uhhhhhhh is that like a really far walk? I'm just sooo tired"
Me: No it's about 15 min walk
Him: "ok fine, but can we go to 711 real quick, im soo thirsty" [he does buy me a vitamin water, he's only at -500 points now]
We get to the park and sit down to chat. Conversation was completely dull, but I did enjoy taking photos of the scenery w my iphone.
We get back to my building and he's like "well alright, I gotta go, I'm meeting my buddies at Theory for burgers, do you know how to get there from here"?
-REALLY? Yeah the bar is located between here and GO F YOURSELF! I'm an in between plan before your dudes arrive for boys night in the city? I straightened my hair for this date!
Well that's all for tonight folks. Till next time xoxo
PS- I am so looking forward to experiencing Valentines Day this year as a single observer, with puke bucket in hand, I know this holiday will prompt some fabulous post ideas:)
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