To be honest, a few years ago I was one of those people who said
--"Omg, I will never online date, unless things get reeeeaallly desperate, it's just so weird, I should be able to meet people the 'regular' way".
Well nowadays I think the stigma around online dating has started to dissipate and people just don't meet organically anymore. Ok so now you may agree with me or you think I became really desperate...haha well meeting men in a bar really just wasn't working or productive and we do everything else online, so why not try it?
So I take the plunge, make a screen name -- the last time I had to think about the "coolness" of my screen name was back when AIM Messenger was just introduced-- except now you sort of want it to be cute and attractive?! Then you pay money- because, yes JLo, this love do cost a thing- it costs $100 for 6 months, honey.
Ok, next step-the profile. Setting up the profile is an annoying task itself, you have to answer all these questions and a lot of them are Yes or No or must choose 1 option of these 5, when really for some answers you want to add a footnote that says "well usually the answer to this question is usually, almost always no, but if your a musician, look like Matt Damon, have an accent etc, we can reconsider". But superficial things like that would NEVER sway me, psssh..hahha..ha.
Next is the paragraph to describe yourself. Seems easy but honestly- what do you say to "how would you describe yourself"? You can't be too safe- i.e.- just a nice girl, loves my family and friends, looking for mr right blah blah blah, because then you seem boring and probably too nice. You can't be cynical or too funny because maybe you'll sound angry, mean and like your not serious about life or dating. UGH- so it has to be the perfect combo of sweet, nice, funny, eloquent.... So once you've written your paragraph and upload the most gorgeous pics of yourself, you're released into a cyber-world of....men, boys, man-boys (a term coined by a good friend of mine that you'll see used often), dudes, douches, jerks, meat heads, mid-life crisis men, oooold men who have white hair but their profile says their 32...and the list goes on-- oh and sometimes a normal, nice guy slips in there. But I know you're not reading this to know about the nice guys, please.
Well below are just a FEW of the emails that I've received. I get it, okay- it can be awkward to write a note to a stranger. However, they just read my profile, chalk-full of information about ME-- reading comprehension and recall skills?? Unfortunately these gentleman had some issues- sometimes I wonder if they took an English class (cool is spelled with a 'c' not a 'k') or if their parents taught them any manners. But mostly it makes me laugh...and feel really good about myself- that yes, I am a little bit more normal than I thought:
"Hey there, wow you are so beautiful, I didn't realize jewish woman could be so beautiful".
-EXCUSE ME? you didnt know jewish woman COULD be beautiful? Generally back handed compliments do not go over well.
-I won't even go into the irony of this email considering the miniature troll in the profile picture...
"hey, wassss up?" or "yo"
- Did you really just spend all that time writing me those three words??
"In my mind we met, got married, and got divorced. I'll keep the house on (insert some island ive never heard of) and you can keep the house on (insert another island I've never heard of)
Love, your ex-husband"
-WHAT?
"Hi my name is ___,
I read your profile and you seem so pretty and really nice.
[Insert 4-5 paragraphs about his interests, family, dog, what he ate for breakfast lunch and dinner, the movie that he saw last night and the sci fi novel he's reading].
Hope to hear from you"
-Now take this email in slightly altered versions,from this same person --it gets sent to me about once every 2 months
-I have books on my e-reader if I want to enjoy a novel, thanks.
"Hey! My name is SoandSo,
You're really pretty but honestly I don't think we have that much in common and we might not be a match- but the truth is this isnt actually my profile, I made it for my buddy because he's too shy to do this himself so these are all his stats. Do you think you'd like him? If you do maybe I can hook you guys up and then if you have a friend for me, you can hook me up- i like blondes usually. Also, I'm a photographer so if you just want to be business contacts that would be great too!? "
-Ummm SERIOUSLY? What guy makes a profile for his other guy friend-- he's gonna be pissed when he finds out! And since when do you use a dating site for networking? wow...
Well folks, that's all for now. Tune in next time for some juicy info on some dates that I did go on, those were fun...ha
xoxo
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