Happy Sunday everyone!
This weekend I learned a few important things after a night out with some girlfriends.
First of all I learned that red lipstick is the answer to many problems...or at least it made me feel about 15 times more fabulous than usual, that was a good way to start my weekend--the hostess at the restaurant told me, the moment I walked in "You are a beautiful" pretty much made my month.
Secondly I learned that I am not alone in having going on dates with douchebags. Per my friend's approval and request to share via my blog--below are some details she divulged to me about a date that she went on and some of the GOBSMACKING (is this a word? i don't know but it looks good) things that came out of this dbag's mouth:
-after talking about career
*him: oh wow, that's interesting, i figured you'd be a social worker or maybe a nurse. That's what most jewish girls do anyways.
---WHAT? they're both jewish but he feels the need to negatively stereotype jewish women?
-he asks how my friend has found the dating site to be working? any nightmare dates? why hadn't she dated anyone from that site yet? etc
*her: well I mean, i just haven't found anyone i clicked with, they've all been decent people though...etc
[she is trying to change the subject as she'd like to get to know her date rather than discuss failed dates]
*her: (to be polite), what about you? how has the dating site been for you?
*him: ugh awful, i mean, girls post pictures that don't even look like them, they usual end up being 40 lbs fatter than what they say. I generally want to be fb friends first so I can check them out.
*her: ookkay, we aren't fb friends. how did you decide this was an OK date to go on with me?
*him: well i mean, you look pretty skinny in all your pictures on the dating site and I figured you couldn't have gained that much weight from then till now so i gave you the benefit of the doubt.
---EXCUSE ME????ARE YOU F*ING KIDDING ME? SOMEONE ACTUALLY BELIEVES THIS IS OK TO SAY, EVER, LET ALONE ON A DATE????
As I was told this story, my jaw was hanging wide open- stunned. I mean, COME ON?!?! I understand sometimes on a date you're nervous. Maybe you ramble a little, or accidentally mention your ex or bring up religion or politics briefly--oppsies. But this date was a case of sweet, fabulous girl meets cocky douchebag who, most likely if he continues this charade, will die alone.
*Lesson #1: Anticipate ridiculous statements to come out of your date's mouth, that could be degrading, insulting and/or derogatory.
*Lesson #2: Decide what you'd like to do about it beforehand if a bad situation were to arise. For example, I think learning to artfully toss a drink at you date is a good skill to have, though you should aim for the shirt or pants so we don't damage his eye sight and him take legal action. OR think of your amazing one liner - you are a disgusting pig, eat nails, I hope you step on a lego, you're a pathetic excuse for a man, I feel sorry for your mother--- you get the point. ;)
The third thing that I learned is that apparently I'm intimidating and I make it hard for people to approach me/open up? This was told me me by a guy who I believed was totally uninterested in me. We were sitting at a table, 2 of my girlfriends were chatting next to us:
*Him: I mean, look at you, you're so serious, not saying anything
-[reality: I was bored. He was saying ZIP. It was 2am. I mean, I'm very entertaining most hours of the day, but on this last hour, with my system pulsing with Absolute Citron and sodas, I needed some entertainment or a red bull. How about he try, "oh hey, I haven't seen you in 3 months, what have you been up to? see any good movies lately? how was your NYE? " ETC]
*Me: I mean, you're not saying anything either, I'm just people watching. I can sit like this all day I guess, sorry it makes you uncomfortable.
*Him: Ok...welI I mean, how do I make sure I don't get cut from round #2 then? (Round one refers to the first time we met, he came to my place after any evening out w friends and we hung out for a bit, mainly watching some horrible punk'ed reruns, as he again, said NOTHING TO ME)
*Me: Um? I didn't even know you were interested, I guess if you don't want to be "cut" i need you to speak up, open up a bit, talk to me?!
him: [i can't remember exactly but again referencing my intimidating persona]
--insert more silence. I start daydreaming about food...french toast to be exact
*me: god, i'd love to eat some french toast...
*him: (as we are all getting ready to leave) well lets go eat some now?
*me: (considering it was 2:30a) well honestly I'm exhausted but if you're serious you can take me out another time for breakfast?
*him: [silence]
*me: oookay well I guess that's a no
*him: I mean, yeah, that was basically a shut down
*me: [what the hell do I say to that? explain how you don't get it? roll my eyes, give you a tissue?]
*Ok look, if a man is truly interested in a woman, specifically me in this case, you wouldn't be mad that I said no to 2:30a breakfast but suggested hanging out another time- like during the day, or something resembling a REAL DATE? You'd look forward to getting to see me again and getting to know me etc But instead it sounds like you're just hoping I had enough vodka sodas that once you fed me, I'll invite you over? [insert buzzer noise] WWWRONG.
Lesson #3- Men- MAN UP FOR GOD SAKES. If you like a woman, ACT LIKE IT, TELL HER, CALL HER, TEXT HER, COMPLIMENT HER. As talented as woman are, mind-reading in not on the list.
Lesson #4: It's probably, almost for sure, a better use of time to study the GMAT that to study/understand men.
Lesson #5: Repeat #4 to self, multiple times per day.
Well that's all for tonight folks, goodnight.
Till next time,
xoxo
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